thought i would keep this online blog to record the way i write, think at 20. yep that's right. just celebrated my 20th birthday 2 days ago with... the most unlikely people. haha had the neighbours over for a christmas dinner ( went a little over board, there were 7 of us and i roasted chicken, parsnips with carrots, potatoes, cooked pasta, there was also smoked salmon, bread with humous, cheese...) anyway, back to my birthday. it was strange cos the people around me weren't even that close to me. let's see, there was shing (who's my housemate so she's pretty close to me) and aiwee ( who i only very recently got close to because she's here to visit me on holiday), and then these people who were just mere acquaintances! (neighbours, danni, michelle,) gosh do i sound very ungrateful? im really not! i was genuinely surprised when they trooped in with the cake and all. but i thought it was really funny that my birthday party consisted of people who weren't very close to me. sigh, makes me feel kinda unloved and sad and wow suddenly all these thoughts of self pity are coming to me.
ok, so why did i decide to start a blog? to start writing i guess. im really bored now. this is sort of a letter to my future self, to remind me of the way i sounded years back. in secondary school, i always fancied myself as a pretty eloquent person. was always reading all these really good books. but now i catch myself stuttering more than i used to, having difficulty expressing myself in front of a big group. am i being too conscious of myself when i speak? am i not reading/writing enough? haha am i too self absorbed? supposed to be studying for this stupid test but i spent the afternoon eating YES I MEAN EATING ( scones, cereal, chocolate, ice cream, fruit bars, popcorn, bread, biscuits GOOD LORD) and watching this new american comedic series' new girl'
im not going to lie and pretend to be the deep sort of profound sort of person that every 2o year old is supposed to be. as you can see, im no longer using fancy words. haha was just reading some of my old texts/emails/smses and boy did i sound pretentious! yup cos my problems are really stupid. like right now im really over fussing over my ACNE and my weight. doesn't help that i just went on a binge because ever since aiwee came i have put on close to 2kg. i swear im going to have to start dieting tmr!
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